The meaningful Majlis Menyambut Menantu

It is usual for Malays that the reception and akad nikah ceremony done at the girl's side to be lebih meriah than the guys side. Reason being, nothing in particular but it has always been the usual Malay custom. The wedding reception at my husband's side was far beyond my expectation. The wedding is simple, yet it was so meanigful. Hours of preparation, tedious effort and observation on protocols was put forward for this wedding. Despite the last minute table seating arrangement, a few set backs here and there, the restless hours of preparation, one thing I could say is that this wedding is really a memorable and meaningful one. Understandably when the no 1 in the country is attending it,everything has to be in perfect order. Sesungguhnya kami merasa bertuah YDPA & SPB Raja Permaisuri Agong berkenan berangkat ke majlis persandingan kami.

The amount of work put in to make the ceremony went smoothly was extensive. I was getting really exhausted, at the same time happy it went well. Majlis berlangsung di Dewan Sultan Azlan Shah, Shah Alam dan diserikan dengan kehadiran kerabat-kerabat diraja, selain dari keberangkatan Tuanku & Tuanku Permaisuri. I was very much overwhelmed when we were graced by them in the upacara merenjis. That was a very memorable moment indeed. I am very much lucky in that sense, and much even lucky to marry my husband. :). May this marriage have a fairytale ending, happily ever after. :)

My akad nikah day-3.7.2009

Alhamdulillah, the akad nikah and in fact the reception at both sides semuanya dah selamat, berjalan dengan lancar. The solemnization ceremony was held at my house, attended by relatives, neighbors and friends. The day before the akad nikah, I couldn’t really sleep well. Not that I’m nervous, but it’s more of the preparation for the wedding and the akad nikah ceremony that worries me much. I was finally asleep at 2.00 in the morning

03/07/2009

9.00 a.m – Went to Pasar Besar Ipoh to buy some fresh flowers for the pelamin with my sis. We have bit of difficulties in deciding which to buy and with the constrained time period, we can’t help not to delve into conflicting opinions. Much so when we are both equally not very easy to please as at times dia rasa cantik tapi to me tak cantik, or the other way around. After some time, we decided to pick pink lilies with baby flowers and paku pakis leaves.

11.00 a.m- Reached home. Had some rest before going for make up session.

2.45 p.m – Make up session with Cindy at Makeupz. She did my hair and makeup for only RM 70.00. And I love the result! It looks pretty natural.

5.00 p.m - We are on our way back when my husband to be called. Haha..The ceremony is supposed to start at 5.00 and here we are in the car still driving back. My sis told him to stall a bit so that we arrived before them.

5.10 p.m – The rombongan of my husband’s side arrived. Thank God I managed arrived bit earlier than them.

5.15 – I was at the bilik pengantin..-blurr- Can’t feed the details cos I just don’t know what’s happening outside at the living room. My bro (Cik) came in with a snap shot of my husband to be (at that time). “Tengok, muka dia nervous tu…” he said. Speaking of which, I was also very nervous at that time. Really-really nervous. I never had that kind of feeling.

I kept holding my sis in laws hand to ease my feeling. She suggested me to recite some quranic verse. It did help to lessen the feeling. Then they called me to the living room. The nervous breakdown filled me again. Oh, God..is this even natural?

I was led by my aunt to the living room. I just couldn’t notify who’s who was there. I am just so nervous that I could not lift my head to acknowledge people. When I was seated, I noticed my mother in law to be, my grandmother behind me, my husband’s to be grandmothers.

I did not even dare to look at my husband to be, it was such tense moment for me. Really tense that I guess it was visible on my face that one of his uncle told me to relax and not to be nervous.
I was asked to read the kebenaran mengahwinkan untuk pengantin perempuan and the kadhi went on reading the khutbah nikah, It was a long khutbah nikah…too long, in fact. Then the time comes, where my dad took the kadhi place and shook my husband’s to be hand. I don’t know that he was supposed to do the solemnization ceremony himself. Cos he is not really feeling well, my dad had stoke and he always stuttered in his speaking ability. He was asked to call out my husband’s to be name and say, Aku nikahkan dikau dengan anakku …… dengan mas kahwinnya senaskhah Al-Quran, tunai…

To everybody’s surprise, he called out Azwan Ali instead of my husband’s to be name..(Still wondering where is the similarities??) I tried not to laugh. Had it not been me in the wedding dress, surely I would’ve gelak bergolek2 kat tepi..Hahaha. Tried to keep compose, but I guess the smirk was visible. My dad was corrected, but he did the same mistake. Hahaha, he must’ve really nervous than to my husband’s to be. He seems to be very composed. I guess panic or nervous is like the last vocabulary in his life.

After 2 times being corrected and my dad had it correct. My husband was ready to accept the qabul and fluently said “Aku terima nikah …………. dengan maskahwinnya senaskhah Al-Quran, tunai. I was stunt..Is that it? Was it ok? The qadhi requested him to repeat it again and corrected him to “Aku terima nikahnya, bukan aku terima nikah.” Again my dad with his ijab and my husband’s to be accepted it fluently, this time with “Aku terima nikahnya”. Both witnesses confirmed that it was valid and I am at 6.04 p.m.; changed my status as a wife. Then the sessi membatalkan air sembahyang. He took out a ring and place it at (opppss, this time he got it wrong) at my middle finger. Thank God the ring was quite big for my size that it fits. I shook and kissed his hand. He calmly kissed me in front of everybody, at which point I felt a dash of blood defying gravity shot up to my face! I sheepishly smiled.

At that moment I realized the beauty of Islam, Islam tak membebankan ummat. Procedurewise, getting married is actually not that difficult..

And to my surprise, tiba2 nervous tu dah hilang! I didn’t even realized when..Hahaha…

Dup, dap,dup

I’m having cold feet as the Big Day approaches. Having hard time to sleep... Is that even common?-I asked myself repeatedly. Marriage is common, everyday people get married. Do they felt the same way I do? Or they don’t, and I’m actually not prepared for this? To that I have no answer.

But I’m trying as much as I can to just follow my mum advice, think only good thoughts as it serves as prayers. I tried very much I can to just ignore the feeling, hoping (with fingers crossed) that it would go away. It doesn’t. And it became even more visible as the day approaches.

I’ve asked him this question, “Are you prepared for this?” To my dismay, his answer was, “Sedia ke tak, dah nak dekat pun…so, kenalah sedia”. Yup, his answer is to my dismay. First, because he answered it by being himself (by not indulging into emotion-did I mention he is a very very indeed very practical person and hates nonsense about feelings?) and secondly because his answer is true (despite the fact I hate it).

By that, he is not exactly answering whether he is ready or not, but I take it by implication that he is ready (cos he said Kena kan?)

Me? Am I ready? Well, the obligation and responsibility as a wife does not really bother me that much (yes, sayang.. I’m able to wake up early to make breakfast for you and iron your clothes) plus he is not the male chauvinist type- (very diplomatic, remember? Or in other words-senang bela!) but it’s the understanding part and putting myself in this lifetime commitment is what I’m worried about. Coming out from the comfortable circle and embarking into something new. I’ve seen too much reality of marriages that develops from love but eventually turned into hatred and worst still, the loss of ability to live together at the end of the day. I just don’t want that to happen. My friend was saying that is perfectly natural and it’s actually good that I’m entering it with a cautious, open mind. I do hope that she is right.

Well, I’m going to stick to my mum’s advise, think of good things as it serves as prayers…Wish me luck!

Wuih!

Lagi 6 hari ke tarikh akad nikah kami 3.7.2009. Preparation, preparation and preparation. This is when I thank God so much for giving me a big family. Having 6 bros and a sister helping me (another one is still so small to help) really ease the burden! No need to worry aboout asking assistance from extended family..bukanlah tak nak minta tolong, tapi risau menyusahkan orang. With my bros and sister around, we'll do things at our own pace like yesterday, preparing for the bilik pengantin sampai pukul 3.30 pagi. And this morning kena kerja pulak! Saw my sis and bros still sleeping bila nak gi kerja pagi tadi. Sian, they surely exhausted.

As much that I'll have a family of my own, I pray that I'm still close to my bros and sister as we are today. I considered all those gila2 thing we used to do does made our family unique in our way!

My mum

My marriage is exactly a week away. When I woke up this morning and getting prepared to work, I saw my mum scrubbing on the floor. She is apparently trying very hard to ensure that everything would look perfect on the wedding day; despite the age and the constant numbness that she is suffering from.

It saddened to note that despite the fact that I won’t be around after this, she still tries the best of her abilities to ensure that everything is proper for my wedding day. Even with the fact that after this marriage, I’ll no longer be staying with the family that I’ve been living in for the past 29 years. The family that I grew up with.

Honestly, I am not very close to my mum at initial stage of my growing years. I am more attached to my dad, and was always referred to as ‘anak abah’. Understandably because I was the only daughter in the family for several years until my sister finally arrived (huh, sibuk je! ;))

Teenage years however make me becomes closer to my mum. Partly because I have some issues with my dad but mostly because I guess as you grow older, you tend to feel a lot more comfortable pouring your heart out to person of the same sex.

It is more apparent when I am getting married. My mum is my strength! Though at times, we may clash in thought, but she is my source of positive energy. She’ll keep telling me that everything will be fine, despite whatever may come.

I pray for my mum’s happiness, she had endured a lot. And she deserves it! She’s the best mum in the world!

Thanks Mak!

Love him the way he is

Unless it’s an arranged marriage, of course a person would have things that she/he likes about the other person. Most girls take physical appearance as secondary, but I know guys relatively tend to be attracted to physical appareance. A guy friend of mine in justifying the position jokingly told me, ‘If you see a person at a bar,” he said, “you won’t be approaching her and say “oh, what a nice heart you have.” Come to think of it, it does make sense.hahahaa..

Well, with him-though he is not really drop dead gorgeous guy, (yang, you rather me tell the truth,kan?) but still he is still an apple of my eyes. The thing I like most about him is his eyes. He has a pair of sunken eyes, which usually will make a person looks fierce, but it is soften with his hazel coloured pupil and long lashes. That complements and balances it all. Hahahaa..yup, I’m into detail. But I’m attracted to him not because of that (I apparently noticed that after we both are together), but because of him being so gentleman and his people pleasing attitude. I guess that’s one of the recipes of the success in his career and the secret why this relationship works. Despite his busy schedule, I could see that he try as much as he could to spare some times for me even though that would mean sacrificing his personal needs.

Guess that is what people called chemistry-you choose to accept the person that is compatible to you and at the end of the day, the relationship works!

I finally understood the connotation of ‘prince charming’; he is not necessarily tall, dark and handsome but it’s the chemistry between each other, and perseverance of the love and affection towards one another makes a relationship bonds. It’s those unexplainable and very abstract things. I guess it’s the chemistry between us- we somehow know each other too well especially who’s turn to withdraw from an argument, who’s turn to play ‘the good person’ and ‘the bad person’...(he usually allows me to be the ‘bad person’..hahaha). Of course, no relationship is perfect. We do at times find ourselves in arguments, but Alhamdulillah, it was not prolonged.

Indeed I hope that he wouldn’t change a bit-cause I love him just the way he is.

Destined for each other...

The url I chose for this blog is destinedwedding. This relationship strengthen my believe in the saying ‘Jodoh pertemuan di tangan Tuhan’. After so long, we will finally in a month time, Insyaallah be together. We’ve known each other for almost 10 years. We basically see each other maturing process, fumbles, ups and downs but at the end of the day, the acceptance of each other as whom we both are is the ultimate part. That’s why I would like to refer this blog as destined wedding.

I wrote this to commemorate the anxiety, the passion, the hardship and the in the preparation of the big day for us both. It is considerably a very tiring process, however the thought that the say where I am finally going to be spending my whole lifetime with him somehow recharge my energy level and it's worth it. No marriage is perfect I supposed, but living a life with someone not witnessing it seems incomplete.. Human nature requires us to crave for attention and praises and marriage serves that purpose.

Orang kata masa bertunang adalah masa di mana dugaan paling kuat. That’s really true. Because to prepare for the big day; both sides (and of course the families too!) have to come to a meeting mind. External factors are sometimes the cause of the obstacle or it comes from within. And you are expected to go through it gracefully. Nak buat benda yang baik dah tentulah banyak dugaan dan cabaran yang tiba2 datang. To me, marriage is a big step. That’s why I guess to me, it doesn’t happen to soon.

I pray so much that we’ll go through it successfully. I try my very best to be as positive as him and to throw away all the dreadful thoughts.

Caiyok! Insyallah!

Persiapan Kahwin!

Penatnya persiapan kahwin! Sebesar2 sehingga sekecil2 perkara kena diatur-semuanya perlu nampak cantik di hari bahagia. Padanlah kata orang-raja sehari-kerana sehari itulah semuanya perlu nampak cantik ibarat raja.

Tambahan pulak perkahwinan sekarang telah dikomersilkan. “Tak macam mak masa dulu-dulu” kata mak. “Apa orang bagi, semuanya pakai.” Kata mak, zaman dulu-dulu (tahun 70-an) orang kampung masih lagi berpegang kuat pada adat. Kenduri kahwin adalah persiapan oleh keluarga-bukannya pengantin tu sendiri. Selalunya bergotong-royong dan tiap2 orang seolah2 tahu peranan masing-masing. Ada yang menghias bilik pengantin, ada yang jadi penanggah dan tukang masak. Ada juga yang menghias pengantin. Menariknya lagi, mereka tak lokek meminjamkan barang supaya perkahwinan tu nampak cantik, dari baju hinggalah ke barang kemas! Kahwin orang dulu-dulu meriah. Persiapannya dibuat beberapa hari sebelum hari persandingan. Siap ada kugiran, joget lambak. Orang yang buat kerja pun tak terasa terbeban, sebab orang yang menolong pun ramai. Dah bergotong royong, yang berat pun jadik ringan!

Kata Mak, baju pengantinnya dipinjam daripada mak saudaranya yang teringin sangat nak tengok mak pakai baju tu. Songket bunga tabur warna maroon. Cantik! Agaknya badan pun masa tu kecik,so nampak terletak je baju tu pada badan mak.

Sebelum ni, aku hanya menyiapkan majlis perkahwinan untuk adik dan abang. Sekarang, giliran diri sendiri. At the age of 29, ramai yang kata aku ni kahwin lambat. Lambat ke? Tak pulak rasanya. But persiapan perkahwinan ni requires lots of effort, energy and money! Yes, money when everything seems to be very costly (now it’s recession-even worst) dan kesemuanya dah dikomersilkan!